What do you see when you look at the person staring back at you in the mirror? Prior to writing this, I was watching a makeup tutorial on YouTube and the girl was gorgeous -- flawless skin, perfect teeth with a pretty pucker. I wondered if they look as beautiful at home, before they slip into bed every night. Or are they like the most of us clad in a baggy t-shirt and an old pair of shorts at home, bare-faced with a hint of dark circles under both eyes and eyebrows undrawn and unfilled?

The feeling of being loved, being protected and cared for, is addictive. More importantly, it's simple and gratifying to know that we are significant in someone else's eyes, that our very existence brings happiness into another life.

But the fact is, are we as indispensable to ourselves as others see us to be?

How many times do you look in the mirror and inadvertently accentuate your flaws? I know I do. From the sizeable thighs to the underarm jiggles, or the face comparable to a rice dumpling, and hips I wish weren't so wide. Somedays I wished I looked a little like this, or behaved a little like that. Because I feel that others might be more impressed with me if I was less of myself and more of that ideal instead.

And at the same time, I would like someone to love me for me.

But we can't expect others to love us unconditionally when we don't cherish what we see when we face the mirror. Our own insecurities have to be overcome not by someone keeping us safe, but by relying on ourselves to embrace whatever may seem like flaws to us. We can't expect someone to believe in us if we don't have that spark of faith that might keep us going. We can't force others to forgive us for the mistakes we make if we don't learn from these errors ourselves. We've got to have a sense of self-worth, in order for others to respect us in return.

In the novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower, a (rather overused) saying by Charlie, the protagonist, goes, "We accept the love we think we deserve". Everyone has that much a shot at being loved but when the scales are tipped back, it all depends on how much love you believe you are capable of receiving. When we love ourselves, we settle for people who affirm this (and hopefully loves us just as much) which hence raises us up to this pedestal. I don't believe that anyone is undeserving of any sort of love.

When you love yourself, flaws and all, you feel more confident.

I don't mean that you are confident -- not chest-out-head-high-nose-pointing-to-the ground type of confident.

I mean that you feel confident.

Feeling confident means you accept yourself for who you are and what you look like. As John Legend sings, "all your curves and imperfections". If you can embrace all of that and learn to love yourself, I don't see why those who truly love you wouldn't.

Live for yourself, not live to impress someone else.