Does anyone else get a feeling of sluggishness at times? Even when the sun is shining in a sky so brilliantly blue outside, have you ever struggled to find the motivation to do something that you find meaning in? This is me, so many times over but yet, still such an unfamiliar feeling that I dread. I'll admit that it has only been a recurring phenomena ever since I started work two months ago and as much as I'm adamant to push such thoughts away, I know that I'm still grappling to adapt to this, this new environment. Me, wrestling with myself in a strange, unfamiliar environment - also trying to detach myself from my previous life. Yes, it's a struggle that my 23-year-old self did not expect.

So many times the past couple of months I've asked myself whether I'm truly happy. Beneath all the politically correct responses whenever anyone asks me about work (because why wouldn't they ask?), do I really mean it when I say that I'm motivated by the challenges and the setbacks I face? I don't want to be a quitter - I'm not a quitter. So many times the past couple of months I've convinced myself that the only way up and out is to bite the bullet. To grind, to squeeze the last drop of motivation and grit through for at least two years (seems like a bloody long time if you ask me). But maybe I'm not entirely convinced by myself since these questions pop up ever so often then?

But I scream to myself how THIS IS LIFE. And it's not always smooth-sailing. That we learn and grow from these challenges. And how I don't want to quit life. This might perhaps be more disheartening than failing every single fucking subject for two years in junior college (ha ha ha, jokes on me).

I think it's because I'm at the crossroads feeling a little helpless and unworthy at this point in my life (that is the start of forever, really).

So, if I struggle to find meaning in work, I should be searching for that in other aspects of my life because there's so much more there than the grind, isn't it? I guess this is a mental note for me to lift my chin up and to see the beauty in everything else.

What should you do when you ever feel uninspired? (in no particular order)

1. Get your ass moving - put on your running shoes and activewear and break out a sweat (or just go for a swim the water is v inviting in this heat)
2. Meet your best friend and tell him/her about it
3. Put on a sundress, make-up and perhaps a smack of red lipstick - spend some alone time outside, people-watch at a cafe or buy something if it makes you feel good 
4. Check things off on your to-do/errand list (I personally find this very therapeutic)
5. Spend an afternoon lounging in the sun/sand with an alcoholic drink
6. Put a sheet mask on your face, light up a candle and lie on your bed with a good playlist the moment you wake up
7. Cook or bake something you saved on your Pinterest board
8. Pick up a new skill - learn something that you've always wanted to try (a language, make-up, or an instrument idk)
9. Write (legit this is what I'm doing now)
10. List out what made you happy/feel blessed every night (a friend told me about this)
11. Ask yourself where you want to be in 2 years, in 5 years and in 10 (I need to try this)
12. Actually ask yourself what keeps you going and damn it, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT