Finally have some time to sit down and clear my thoughts since school started. Everything's going great and I could really get used to this life. Short school days; sitting alone doing nothing or finding friends who have no where to go to too. I'm 19, I'm in university and I'm almost an adult. Almost. I just can't shake off that feeling that weighs me down every time school starts. It's only been two days but I've found myself crying for god-knows-what-reasons. I don't even know why myself. In fact I haven't even cried in a long time (that's a first, I know). The fear of the unknown is drowning me and so very often I feel so afraid because I don't know who I'll meet in classes or what the lessons are like. The night before, scenes of school the next day will keep replaying in my head. The uncertainty is scaring me. When I'm school I actually like it, really.

I tell myself carpe diem, carpe diem. Seize the day. I know 4 years of uni will pass by so quickly and if I don't cherish it now, I'll look back with so much regret. In the mornings I look in the mirror and tell myself to be strong, give everything my best and enjoy the process. And somehow I find myself cherishing the sanctuary of my home even more now. Despite no one being at home, I pretty much still love dancing around the house myself or just lying there scrolling through all the channels on tv.